


Faded Words

by Caskettmyheart



Series: Little Carmilla AU's [6]
Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, Mentions of the redheadded trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caskettmyheart/pseuds/Caskettmyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura deals with events she didn't ever think she'd have to face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faded Words

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little ficlet I started over a year ago but decided not to post. I recently got inspired to adjust it, and post it anyways. It's sad, do not read if you want fluff.  
> \--

Cold. She remembered her body felt cold. Her fingers were numb and she could barely feel her legs. Her hair stuck to her features but she couldn’t care less. She felt like the rain had soaked her to her core. It was pouring to the point where her tears mingled with the big drops of water streaming down her face. The flowers she had brought had lost their beauty and grace on the walk here, and now resembled nothing more than a bunch of leaves kept together by a single maroon colored ribbon and a drenched card.

A scoff escaped her lips as her mind traveled to the thought of the card. What use did it have anyway? She wouldn’t be able to read it… She was gone. She wouldn’t see the card, read the words in her messy handwriting. She wouldn’t see the dress she wore especially for her. She wouldn’t see it being ruined by the rain. She wouldn’t see how her eyes were bloodshot from crying for days. She wouldn’t be there to hold her close, grab her face and kiss the sadness away. She’d never experience those little moments of joy again because she was gone, and now she had to deal with the heartbreak.

She hoped that someday, it would kill her. That her heart would literally break and she wouldn’t have to live on anymore. Because she didn’t want to see a world without her loved one by her side. She’d been everything to her, and even though she knew this day would come, she’d never expected it to be so soon.

 

But for now, until the day her heart would either break entirely or heal miraculously, she had to stay strong. She had to promise to her deceased lover that she was still that ‘bright light in a world of darkness’, as she’d once called her as they watched the sky darken above them.

She’d laughed at the compliment. She’d always enjoyed the sudden moments of intimacy when it seemed like everything was going wrong. That night was a particularly beautiful one.

“I mean it,” she’d said.  
“I know you do,” she’d smiled back.

The next five minutes or so, the stars, however bright and beautiful, had been forgotten. The reality of the moment came first.

 

It was a weird, bittersweet event, recalling all those beautiful memories. They were so wonderful to recall. Yet she wished she could still experience them, instead of having to memorize every line, every word, every syllable ever said in those moments to replay over and over in her head to make up for the fact that she was gone. How could those beautiful moments not be stained by the bad one? The Last one. The one that ruined it all. No matter how much of a fairytale romance they’d had before.

 

For now, she stood there in the pouring rain, in front of the marble stone and opened the card, not caring if the ink got smuged. She knew it by heart, she didn’t need to read the words to know them.

“My dear,” her voice sounded rough from not talking to anyone the last couple of days, “I know you don’t believe in life after death, but I do. I do simply because I need you to still exist somehow, somewhere. I need to hold onto the thought you’ll be looking down at me, or walking beside me, trying to get me to notice you like you did all those years ago.” Her voice cracked at the memory of first noticing those brown eyes eyeing her and those lips curving into an unapologetic smile. “My love, I know we deserved better than what we got. You didn’t deserve to go, but I hope it’s peaceful up there and you don’t have to live in pain anymore. All I ever wanted was to take your pain away. But if I knew this was how, I would have never agreed to it.” Somehow, after days of crying, she still had tears left to shed. The rain was still going strong, and the wind picked up now too, rustling through the trees surrounding the perimeter. “I know I’ll never encounter anyone quite like you, my love, and I don’t think I want to. You were it, Carm. You were it for me, and I don’t know how to go on without you.”

She couldn’t see the words on the card anymore, or the letters engraved in the marble. She sank to her knees in front of the stone and let the flowers slip out of her hand. Her hands were covering her face as she tried helplessly to stop crying enough to see her name carved out.

 

It wasn’t until hands on her shoulders encouraged her to stand up that she realized just how hard it was going to be. To get used to this. Because for a moment, her heart fluttered and thought it was her. Until she looked up and saw red hair instead of dark brown through her tears.

Her friends helped her up, holding an umbrella above her so keep her from getting wetter. (She was already soaked to the bone so it wouldn’t help.) She let them lead her to the car waiting for them, where her father sat at the wheel. The strong wind picked up and rustled the wet leaves on the ground, making Laura shiver.

“Come on, Honey. Let’s get you warmed up,” Perry spoke, trying to usher her into the car. But Laura couldn’t help glace back towards the marble headstone that stood nearby a giant tree in the center of the graveyard. When Perry noticed what Laura was doing, she continued, “We can come back tomorrow. We can come back every day if that’s what you’d like.”

She heard LaFontaine sniff and try to keep their tears from falling but failing and eventually just getting in the front seat. Danny took a place in the back and eventually, she agreed to leave for today. But she couldn’t bare the sight of the gravestone leaving in the distance.

The rest of the ride, she buried her head in Perry’s lap as her legs were thrown over Danny’s own. The soothing hands and sound of the rain hitting the car eventually lulled her to sleep. But only once she pretended someone else’s hands were running through her hair, and another, lower voice was telling her it was all going to be okay.

 

Imagining it was Carmilla telling her it would be alright helped. She almost believed it.

 

_Almost._

 

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah...  
> If you cried, let me know. 
> 
> PS: You certainly weren't the only one.


End file.
